Open your eyes and open your heart for the miracles are all around you.

We all want that miracle or that sign from God, from a loved one. We pray, we ask; but do we just listen and watch? Do we sometimes look too hard or look for something too big? Maybe we keep ourselves so busy that we miss our chance. Or are miracles found in the simplest of gifts that drift into our day? Either way, I believe, you must keep an open heart and give yourself time to just be, to just experience.

Last Sunday evening I wasn’t feeling well so I took a vitamin C and when I talked to Wayne that night asked him if there was anything else he would recommend for a sore throat. He said drink lots of water and get extra sleep. I told him I was heading to bed with my glass of water. The next morning my alarm went off at 5:15 am. I had been up with Afshin a few times and felt so tired. I remembered what Wayne had said and hit snooze. I slept until 6:30 am. It was during that time, when I listened to my body rather than worrying about all that I needed to do for work that I had a dream…

I came home to mine and Wayne’s house. As I walked into the living room Wayne was there with 4 of his residents. They had just finished some discussions or a lecture. There was a pool table behind Wayne, when I asked where it was from he said he found it in the other room and thought the residents and medical students would enjoy playing it. I smiled and started walking around to check on the students. More and more medical students came into the house. They were having a great time. As I walked into another room, Hamid was standing there. He was wearing his khakis and that orange flannel shirt. He had a goatee and was smiling that smile of his that filled the room. I remember feeling so happy to see him. As I walked toward him, he said, “Heather, I never had this when I was in medical school. It’s great.” I came over to him and hugged him tightly saying, “Hamid, I miss you. But I am really happy.” Hugging me back, he said, “I know, it’s ok,” and was gone.

When I woke up I felt so refreshed – I had needed that sleep. And then suddenly I remembered the dream. Hamid had come to me! I felt a rush of excitement and peace; he had come. He knows; they are watching over us. As I drove to work that morning, I felt re-energized and thanked God for that gift.

It was Thursday morning. I was at work and Desy was putting Afshin down for his nap. She sent me the following text:

Afshin just made me cry. I put him in bed and went to the laundry room and he started saying loudly, “Bye, Baba. Bye, Baba. Are you ok? Do you want my binky?” She said Afshin seemed to settle down and then quietly said, “Bye, Baba. Bye, Baba. You are ok.” And then a few minutes later he drifted to sleep.

It hit me as I drove to Loma Linda. What a beautiful gift. Afshin is just 2 years old and was only 6 months old when Hamid died; yet, here he was clearly talking to Hamid. He knows who is Baba is and somehow they were connecting. I cried hard, grateful for the gift, yet feeling the pain of how unfair it is to Ariyana and Afshin to have lost their dad. That is the hardest part for me – I can’t protect them from this. I can’t stop their questions and their pain as they grow older and understand more. I called my mom – I needed to just be her daughter who was hurting, whose heart had been broken. I cried as soon as she answered and I could her behind the strength in her voice the pain of what it must be like to have to watch your child go through this. She listened and then helped me to focus on the gifts. That it is amazing that Afshin knows his Baba and talked to him. We talked about how blessed we were to have Wayne in our lives. He loves me and the kids with his entire heart and understands loss. He will be the one they know as their Dad. But Wayne will also tell them about their Baba and about their other brother who are out there watching from above. I told mom that I knew I would be calling her many more times having a similar conversation as the Ariyana and Afshin grow older. Yet, in my heart, I don’t think it will be that hard for them. They are going to grow up knowing their Baba and knowing that he loved them.

I felt better after talking to mom though I was surprised out how tired I felt from the shear emotion of it all. I finished my work day and then on the way home I called Christine to tell her about the dream and about Afshin. After I finished the story she was amazed and started talking about how I felt and how amazing it was. I was sitting at the red light on the top of Barton Road looking out at the blue sky as I listened to her. Suddenly, a single red balloon lifted up into the sky in front of me. It must have come from one of the shops in the plaza. I felt a smile stretch across my face as I shook my head in somewhat disbelief. I interrupted Christine to tell her, “You’ll never believe this, but a balloon is floating up to the sky right here!” I think we both kind of laughed and were in awe of the miracles around us. I thought back to that bouquet of balloons that landed in the back yard in front of the picture window. As I started driving and took one last glance at the balloon rising towards the heavens, I thanked God. I know God was trying to speak to me and I was listening.